Hickersons welcome adopted daughter into their lives, just in time for Christmas

This Christmas, Rodger and Kim Hickerson, a Zanoni-area couple who experienced the unimaginable pain of losing both of their teenage sons in separate accidents eight years apart, will be spending the day counting their blessings and thanking God for bringing a daughter into their lives. The Hickersons officially adopted 12-year-old Frances Renee Nov. 9 after fostering the girl for several months. 

The painful path that led them to Frances

Rodger Neil, the Hickersons’ firstborn son, was known for his bright smile and love for the New England Patriots, despite his father’s love for an opposing team, the Kansas City Chiefs. He was an eighth grader at Dora School, an active member of the chess club and Dora basketball team. He enjoyed hanging out with his friends and classmates, especially his three best friends, Nolan Collins, Zachery Henthorne and Cody Tilley. He worked on the weekends at the Gainesville Subway restaurant with his mom and grandma, LaRane Wright, earning money so he and his dad could buy an old muscle car and fix it up in time for his 16th birthday. He was an all-around normal, healthy teenage boy, which made Rodger Neil’s tragic death on March 3, 2008, so incredibly unexpected. That night while playing a video game, Rodger Neil tilted his chair back, and the chair slipped out from under him, causing a fatal fall. 

The Hickersons, shocked and devastated by Rodger Neil’s death, were consumed with grief that night. The next morning, they experienced the first in a series of coincidental timing patterns. Kim’s cousin and best friend, Peggy Williams, gave birth to a baby girl, Riley. 

“It was a sign from God,’” Kim said. “I just knew it.”

The Hickersons grieved and grew through the process of losing Rodger Neil, becoming closer as a family. At the same time, they opened their hurting hearts to welcome Riley, whom Kim calls her niece because she is so close with the girl.

The Hickersons also found joy in watching their son Tyler, who was 10 years old at the time of Rodger Neil’s death, grow into a bright young man who loved the outdoors and building things. Tyler grew up watching Bob the Builder, Myth Busters and How Things Are Made, developing a curiosity and skill in construction and engineering. As an 8-year-old boy, Tyler built a catapult to launch pumpkins. He continued to tinker, and in his later teen years built a Claymore device that would blow items 20 feet in the air and an air cannon that shot walnuts more than a hundred yards. He worked with his dad, learning and refining his skills as a welder. His free time was also occupied hunting and fishing. He was on the Dora High School trap shooting team, and his love for hunting could even be found in his bedroom, which was filled with guns and hunting equipment. He graduated from Dora High School in May 2016, and spent his days brightening the lives of those around him, both at home and at The Concrete Works, where he worked. 

Then, on Sept. 20, 2016, the unimaginable happened. Nineteen-year-old Tyler, the Hickersons’ only remaining son, was killed in a car accident on Highway 181.

Another sign from God

It was the morning after Tyler’s death that Kim says the second sign from God was materializing, one that the Hickersons were not fully aware of until a few years later. 

As Kim and Rodger awoke, childless for the first time in over 20 years, their hearts broken at the loss of Tyler, a 10-year-old girl who would eventually change the path of the Hickersons’ lives was enduring her own heartache a few hundred miles away. 

The living situation for the girl, named Dixie at the time, and her brother and sister had changed. The three siblings were taken from the custody of their grandparents, whom they had lived with for most of their lives, and placed within the Missouri state foster care system. They were separated and soon found themselves in homes of different foster families in the area. 

Meanwhile, in Ozark County, the Hickersons tried to pick up the pieces of their lives. The process was tough for all of them over the next few months. Far away, Dixie tried to find her place in the world, living with a new family who had different rules and expectations. The Hickersons, who had dedicated their lives to Rodger Neil and Tyler, tried to find a path moving forward through grief and heartache. 

After a few months of serious contemplation and discussion, Rodger and Kim made the decision to adopt a child. The Hickersons had already discussed the possibility of adopting a few years before Tyler’s death after a situation arose involving a family member’s child who potentially needed a new family. The situation did not materialize into an adoption, but the Hickersons had opened their hearts at that time to the thought of bringing another child into their lives. After Tyler’s death, Kim and Rodger decided it was time to actively pursue and proceed with the adoption process. 

“It was simple. I needed a purpose again,” Kim told the Times. 

Kim reached out to recently retired social worker Karla Smith, who pointed the Hickersons in the right direction to start the process of becoming a foster family, the first step toward adoption. Kim said the process included traveling to the Nazarene Church in Ava once a week for several weeks to complete a series of classes. The process also included a criminal background check, medical physicals to ensure they were in good health and a financial review to prove the couple had a steady income in which a foster child could be supported. 

Opening their arms, hearts and home

The Hickersons welcomed their first foster child in March, even before they officially completed the foster care classes.

“There are so many children in situations that require foster families, we were needed right away. There is only one other family besides us that is fostering here, and there is an enormous number of children in the foster care system,” Kim said.  

The Hickersons have opened their arms, hearts and home to seven foster children in the nine months they have served as foster parents. Kim said it has been an incredibly rewarding, and at times challenging, process. 

“Sometimes they’re here for a few weeks, sometimes longer. It can be so, so hard… the things you hear from these children, the things they’ve been through,” Kim said.   

The process many times involves supervised visitations with the children’s parents or other former guardians. The goal generally is for the former guardian to complete a process to provide a safe environment for the children again. When the home is deemed safe by a social worker, the children are able to return to their former homes, a process that is sometimes very hard for the foster parents, Kim says. 

This summer, the living situation with Dixie’s foster family changed, and a case worker asked Kim and Rodger if they would foster her. The Hickersons welcomed Dixie with open arms and soon fell in love with the sandy-haired, giggly girl. Dixie’s easy-going personality filled the Hickersons’ home with happiness, and her constant laughter kept Kim and Rodger smiling too. She’s become best friends with Riley, their unofficial “niece,” and she’s easily found a place within the family’s home and hearts. 

Foster children often have behavior challenges as a result of the trauma they’ve experienced, and Frances struggled in some ways with issues that are common with foster children. Kim and Rodger have found patience with the girl, being loving parents and disciplinarians as well. One particular issue the Hickersons are working with Frances on is completing her schoolwork. 

“I think she just hasn’t ever had anyone there for her that held those expectations before,” Kim said. 

So Kim and Rodger worked with the girl at home and the school to create a process in which she gets her work initialed. The process has helped Dixie succeed, and she is now working harder and doing better with her schoolwork. 

“She keeps her room clean, and she’s always doing anything she can to please us,” Kim said. “She’s really a great girl.”

While fostering Dixie and several other children, Kim and Rodger finished the classes that are required of adoptive parents. At the end of October, they were ready to adopt Dixie.

‘Putting my life in God’s hands’

The third sign from God occurred Nov. 9, Kim says, the day the Hickersons officially adopted Dixie. That morning, with butterflies in their stomaches, Kim, Rodger and Dixie entered the Wright County Courthouse in Hartville and took their seat in the courtroom’s pews, awaiting their turn to be called to the front by Circuit Judge Craig Carter. Sitting nearby was Dixie’s brother and a family from Mountain Grove, who had also chosen to proceed with adoption. Carter presided over the hearing, officially making Dixie the Hickersons’ daughter and Dixie’s brother the son of the Mountain Grove family. Dixie’s older sister is still in the foster care system, and has not yet been adopted.

At the hearing, Dixie asked the court to change her name, an option children in Missouri are given on adoption day. When Carter asked what she’d like her name to be, she answered Frances, Kim’s middle name. 

The day was an emotional one, filled with lots of tears, smiles and hugs. After it was official, Kim, Rodger and Frances stood with Judge Carter while a family member snapped a quick photo to remember the monumental day. Kim sat down later that day to post the photo to Facebook, and a little screen popped up. The TimeHop notification showed a post that Rodger had posted to Facebook exactly three years before, announcing his first time ever preaching.

“My life has done a 180 tonight. I’m taking a leap of faith and putting my life in God’s hands,” Rodger’s Nov. 9, 2014, post said. 

Kim said the post, which was referring to the first time Rodger had preached a sermon at Lilly Ridge Church, felt like it could have been written that day. They were taking another leap of faith, and their lives were making another 180-degree turn with the adoption of their daughter. 

“I knew right then it was just another little nudge from God, letting us know we are on the right path,” Kim said. 

Continuing the journey

The Hickersons have chosen to continue to be a foster family in the future, providing a temporary home to children who may need it. 

“There is such a need for it. If you can make a difference in a child’s life, even if it’s temporary, it’s a blessing – to you and them both. So many kids need someone to love them, to show them unconditional love. And when you get to be that person, you end up realizing that they show you a lot about love and what the world really is all about.”

The Hickersons themselves have shown their friends and neighbors a lot about love, weathering a storm of grief and finding unsurmountable love, faith and hope in the path they’ve followed – one little sign from God at a time. 

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Families interested in becoming a foster family or adoptive parents can find more information on the process on the Missouri Department of Social Services Children’s Division website at dss.mo.gov/cd, or by calling 44th Circuit Children’s Division contact Candace Mayberry at 417-926-4142 ext. 260.